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Another Hat Trick
I've taken a week off after the anniversary issues to relax and prepare the next wave of script reviews. We begin Season 4 of the DeadPool Chronicles with my review of the screenplay to Dr Seuss' The Cat in The Hat. So remember, more exclusives coming your way soon. Please read my beef with the FCMM in the column's second article. Have a good week!
The Cat in The Hat Script Review
My only published article in a magazine was a script review of Dr Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas. It's kind of ironic that I get the great pleasure of reviewing the screenplay for the subsequent adaptation of a book by the treasured children's writer. Unlike The Grinch (Which I only became aware of because of the film project), I had read The Cat in The Hat in my youth. My enthusiasm grew even more when one of my favorite comedians, Mike Myers, agreed to star in it. Bo Welch is now directing the picture from a script by Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer and Dave Mandel.
The story begins in a very-typical Seussian town where lives Conrad, Sally and their single mother Joan (Kelly Preston). On a very significant day, where Mom's hosting a dinner for important clients, the kids are left alone inside, bored stiff. Out of nowhere appears The Cat (Mike Myers):
SALLU
Who-- Who Are You?
The Cat is somehow right behind them.
CAT
Of course, of course. How rude of me. My card...
The Cat pulls out a BUSINESS CARD and presents it with a flourish. Conrad tentatively takes it.
CONRAD (reading)
'The Cat in the Pat?'
The Cat snatches the card back.
THE CAT
Let me see that.
(reads it)
Stupid printers! I've already sent them back four times! It's Cat in The Hat! With an H! Not Cat in the Bat! Not Cat in the Mat!
(looks closer)
And they left off my e-mail address!
He's willing to devastate everything in sight to show these two kids how to have a GOOD time. Lurking in the background is the irritating neighbour Dr. Alex Kulchak (Alex Baldwin), who's trying to make an impression on Joan. He's devoted to catching Conrad doing something bad and thus have his mother send him to military school. The fun really begins when the family dog Nevins runs away and the Cat takes the kids and their fish to bring him back home.
It's great. It's amusing from opening to end. The writers did a marvellous job. Imagine thrashing your house as a kid. Now, multiply that by 10, it's that kind of insanity. I found the writing funnier then How The Grinch Stole Christmas. There are more set-ups and payoffs through out the screenplay. An example is Cousin Ray from Tampa, the Cat's alter ego. I won't say any more so as not to spoil the payoff. The Seussical universe is allowed to run riot upon a city and it's quite remarkable. Congratulations on the three writers for a job well done.
The Cat picks up a flashlight.
CONRAD
That's just a flashlight.
THE CAT
Just a flashlight? Come on people, Where's your imagination? This could be a spotlight, it could be a microphone, it could be a light saber.
(To Camera, quickly)
'Light Saber' and the light saber likeness are registered trademarks of Lucasfilm Incorporated.
Mike Myers is probably having a ball right now with this part. It seems like the perfect match. The Cat is similar to one of those energetic personas that Myers has invented in his Austin Powers world. It fits flawlessly in the comedian's repertoire of characters. One important note, Myers is well known for improvising close to 40% of his on-screen work. The script is only the outline for Myers' assumed mind-boggling takes. Looking at it from this perspective, it's too good to be true. Myers could be funny once again, something it was hard for him to pull off in Goldmember. After taking a look at the picture of Myers in full make-up and costume, I'm bewildered. Rick Baker,(he's still in it?), and his crew have done an unbelievable job. I can feel the Oscar Nominations already. Myers looks exactly how I imagined him. His hat plays a vital part in the screenplay. The other half of the title is very well written too. He pulls out all sorts of stuff from it. SPOILERS! There's also a crisis of faith when he loses it. END SPOILERS.
The supporting cast is excellent. The kids have some nice roles and don't seem to be too one-dimensional. Kelly Preston doesn't have much screen time but her character is all right. Alec Baldwin has a golden occasion for a return. His evil Dr. Kulchak is entertaining. He shaves his chest at one point. His job is also a laugh-out-loud joke. I can't wait to see him in that role. There's also the fish, voiced by Sean Hayes (Will and Grace), who's the conscience of the group. He's very witty. He has some adventures of his own that cracked me up. As for Thing One and Two, they unleash chaos at a few locations. It's more of a visual gag set-up. I'm curious to see how Baker and his team have recreated them.
Universal Pictures can seriously bank on this film next Thanksgiving. It features a sure-fire script and a remarkable cast. This movie will be HUGE! The real question remains: What's next for Dr. Seuss?
FCMM Sucks!
I rarely use this column to further my entertainment agenda. But what happened to me this week has left me no choice. The Montreal International Festival of New Cinema and New Media (FCMM) is happening right now. A week ago, the tickets went on sale for the different screenings. I waited an hour in line to hear the words SOLD OUT. The festival is hosting the North American Premiere of Roman Polanski's The Pianist (Winner of Cannes' Palme D'or), Pedro Almodovar's Talk to Her, Far From Heaven, Bowling for Columbine and Ararat. After the deception at the box office, I decided to use another card. I asked for Press accreditation. I managed to have that on numerous occasion for the Montreal World Film Festival which is a bigger festival than this. I made my request on Tuesday. I got no answer. None what so ever. I called their press relations office. It took me 24 hours to get a call back. When I finally managed to talk to them, all they could offer me is was complimentary tickets for short films. It's a joke. A very big joke. From now on, I'm tired of taking it so easily. I'm seriously disappointed in the FCMM organization for their lack of professionalism. I'm asking for a boycott of their festival from the online film journalism community. They didn't take me seriously, why should we take their festival seriously? The FFM, Alliance-Atlantis and Dreamworks-SKG have treated me nicely for well over 3 years. I'm grateful to them for that. Why isn't the FCMM doing the same? Do they think this column is useless? 60,000 readers come to see this column every month. Some of my archived articles have had a cult following with readers.
Wouldn't you guys want to know my thoughts on The Pianist, Talk To Her, Ararat, Bowling for Columbine and Far From Heaven? Readers please feel free to email the festival press office to sound off on the disappointing treatment that I've received.
Stay tuned...
That's all folks...
Jean-François Allaire (aka DeadPool)
Questions, comments, praise etc. Email me at deadpool@tnmc.org
Jean-François Allaire is TNMC's first columnist. At only 24 years old he has become a respected entertainment journalist, with his columns appearing in Corona's Coming Attractions and Scr(i)pt magazine. He also writes a monthly column in Screenwriters Monthly entitled 'The Last Word.' Hailing from Montreal this young writer is determined to dig up all the details on the movies before they hit your local theater. If you're part of a movie production then you really need to be talking to him.
