TNMC

This site’s design is only visible in a graphical browser that supports web standards, but its content is accessible to any browser or Internet device.

The Mean Guns of TV

Hollyfeld, here, and welcome to the second installment of my new ongoing column entitled Look Closer... As promised last time, today we will look at one of those hitherto ignored movie genres – made for cable. Of course, we have all heard of RKO 281 or Lansky or Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, all of which are great, but I am referring to the un-hyped ones – the stuff starring washed up TV or Eighties actors, that typically have crappy or derivative plots and amateurish direction and only appear between the hours of 10:00 and 4:00 AM. You know, anything starring Shannon Tweed?

These movies are generally... well, crappy. Why sugarcoat it? There is usually a very good reason why these movies were not theatrically released – but on occasion a very good, or at least very watchable, one slips through the cracks. Perhaps the best example of this was 1994’s The Last Seduction, starring Linda Fiorentino – now considered one of the finest film noir’s of the Nineties. The Last Seduction received a lot of recognition upon it’s release, especially Fiorentino, who won the New York Critics’ Film Circle Best Actress Award for her performance, but was ineligible for Oscars because it premiered on cable. Sucks, huh? Another strike against Made For Cable (or, perhaps more accurately, non-theatrically released, as some of them premiere on video or were originally intended for release) – no wonder it is considered cinematic death.

The Last Seduction, however, is not the subject of this Look Closer... that would be too obvious. Instead we bring you a review of a very entertaining, fairly artless and rather flawed action film starring Christopher Lambert. Lambert’s career in the last decade or so has never quite lived up to the success of Highlander, which is a shame, because he has always proved himself to be a rather charismatic actor. It has always pained me that he was stuck doing such crap as Highlander 2, Highlander 3, Highlander 4 and Mortal Kombat). Occasionally however he is lucky enough to be involved with a film that reminds us why we know who he is. One such film is today’s subject, Mean Guns.

Mean Guns is one of those traditional "straight action" films – the ones whose whole purpose is to kick ass, from start to finish. Some famous examples include Walter Hill’s The Warriors and John Carpenter’s Assault On Precinct 13. In this genre, plot takes a back seat to action about twenty minutes in, so all that is really needed is a premise and a few established characters. The premise behind Mean Guns is quite simple, and actually rather cool. Vincent Moon (Ice-T) is the head (yeah, you heard me – Ice-T) of The Syndicate, a group that has decided to downsize some. Of course, The Syndicate is a criminal outfit, so a simple round of pink slips simply will not do. Instead, Moon takes 100 members of The Syndicate – mostly assassins – who have fucked up in some way and locks them all up in a brand new prison on the eve of it’s opening. He announces to them all that they are all there to kill each other off, thus making the job easier for him. If anyone tries to leave, they will be killed. If more than three people are alive after his time limit is up, they will all die. As incentive, the remaining three will be awarded ten million dollars to split between them, and will be allowed to walk away scott free. He then drops a load of guns and a load of ammunition (and metal baseball bats) into the group and retires to a state-of-the-art security surveillance room to watch the action.

After the initial carnage, the survivors, of which there are plenty, split up and divide into factions. Among them are Marcus (Michael Halsey), Lou (Lambert), D (Kimberly Warren) and Con (Deborah Van Valkenburgh). Marcus is the old pro, Lou is the reckless but nonetheless talented pro, D is the young and cold-hearted pro, while Con is just an accountant . Marcus acts as a friend and mentor to the two women, but has a complicated past with Lou, who spends his time aggravating D, tormenting Con (along with D), and cracking jokes. Meanwhile, we also follow the path of Hoss and Crow (Yuji Okumoto and Thom Matthews), a wisecracking assassin duo stolen from a buddy comedy, and Barbie (Tina Cote), an assassin’s girlfriend who finds herself alone in the chaos.

The effectiveness of a movie like this depends on three factors – the quality of the action scenes, the quality of the characters, and the over-all personality of the film. The first of these is entirely successful, alternating between Hong Kong-style flashiness and a more straightforward, American style. The characters are largely interesting and well written, though there are some sour notes. Kimberly Warren does not completely succeed in fleshing out her (admittedly one-dimensional) character, making her cool but not human – a flaw. The rest of the characters typically have some element either of revelation or change about them. Either they are not as bad as we thought they were, or they are worse. While this makes their situation more interesting to watch in the long run, it is not always handled well – having seen this film three times I am still a little unclear as to the nature of the relationship between and motivations of Marcus and Lou. If anyone got it more clearly than I did, I would appreciate an e-mail, by the way. In terms of personality, however, Mean Guns is a bit of a hit-and-miss. It does have an element of originality and cleverness in its soundtrack and score (mambo, which is rather original and plays well off of the more entertaining action scenes and dialogue exchanges in the film), but visually is somewhat sterile, mostly due to the sets. The prison in which Mean Guns is set is brand new and state-of-the-art, which in movie terms means "all-silver." I can think of several practical reasons for this kind of art direction decision – most notably that, since all the sets look similar, the same scenery can be used for more than one scene, but this also sacrifices a potentially important character in any action film: the setting. In the best action films of this variety, the setting of the action has its own personality as well – think of the all-too-average suburban mall in George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, or the run-down city streets of Carpenter’s Escape From New York. Mean Guns would have been better served by a less pristine setting... perhaps a condemned prison rather than a new one, giving it a more or of a "last stand kind of feel."

Mean Guns was helmed by Albert Pyun, a director who has had a long career in films that are rarely theatrically released. (His credits include the cult classics The Sword and The Sorcerer and Brain Smasher... A Love Story, as well as the absolutely horrible Alien From L.A. and 1992 version of Captain America, the latter two of which explain why.) He has, however, directed a splendidly entertaining action film which is more than worth taking a look at the whenever it is on cable or noticed at the video store. Mean Guns is available on video and DVD.

As always, Hollyfeld can be reached at hollyfeld_@hotmail.com

Next Time On Look Closer... What Was The Academy Thinking?

As always, Hollyfeld can be reached at hollyfeld_@hotmail.com

You there! You think you could do this job better than I can? Well, you might be right! Look Closer… is always looking for guest columnists, and you might as well be one of them. Just write a review of reasonable length for a movie that you think is under-rated, over-rated, no one knows, etc., and if it makes the grade we will print it in an edition of this column! Those whose reviews are published will also receive a free piece of (slightly cheesy and really inexpensive) promotional merchandise from a movie, to be sent when their review is published, courtesy of me. Just send any and all reviews to the above address. Thank you for reading and participating in the site!

Lazlo Hollyfeld is the pseudonym of an aspiring writer/actor/director located in Southern California. With one screenplay under his (collaborative) belt and more to come, he is sure to work his way up in the world with the help of his talented and close-knit group of friends, co-workers, and penguins. Yes, you heard me, penguins. A film student since before he can remember, he has devoted much of his life to the study of the silver screen and its related art forms.